double double double double!

standards!

i want to be able to pass as a boy. so i look for a little how-to. but you know what? ALL I FIND, even if i put quotes around “for girls” “girl dressed as boy” it’s always about either boys who want to dress like girls, or both. nothing specifically for people born with vaginas.

now i don’t care about what’s between my legs. really. sorrrrry to offend, (maybe not) but i don’t! i think i can pass as what-ever i want. and you know? i can. no thought process required. i = androgyny. booyah. <33

–your pissed-off ever-gender-confused diva lover boyfriend girlfriend whatever

movie reviews

oh damn these cookies are good.

sorry, had to get that out of the way. they’re quite addicting you know.

but onto my main subject;; movie reviews. i was looking online for a movie when i found some site that had movie reviews. i was like, ‘sure, whatever, maybe i’ll find something cool!’ uh, no.

turns out that it’s a radical christian movie review website. oh boy did i have a heyday with this one. and you’ll enjoy it, too. 🙂

 

here are some of the examples of:: WANTON VIOLENCE

-man carrying his murder victim (see, now i don’t see how that’s violence. it’s better than leaving said murder victim in the streets and making a nasty smell.

-severed hand grabbing a child (would it be any different if it was an adult? also, this seems more sexual than violent. i mean, unwanted touch, molestation. even if it’s only a hand. it ‘sends the wrong message.’)

-startle which caused screams in audience (unless these screams deafened someone to the point of one’s ears bleeding, this is not VIOLENT.)

-gambling (now how is this violent?)

-self stabbing in vagina with a metal crucifix (sorry, this one just made me snicker. i’m immature, i get it.)

 

and examples of HATE::

-assuming the perpetrators of mischief were children (and what if they were? would you NOT throw them in jail? or are children always innocent?)

-bully mischief (leaving out bullying is lying by omission. and i think that’s sin.)

-babysitter leaving two young kids in house alone asleep (uh. i guess this is bad, but how is it hateful?)

-teen tantrum (uh. angst? there’s a label on angst now? god, if my life was a movie…)

-massive tattoos (ink=hate?)

–flatulence (oh fck you. that’s fcking NATURAL. not hateful. lest i shove my ass in one’s face and fart there. god.)

-punk dress with facial piercing, repeatedly (dammit, and you wanted to EXCLUDE school bullying! okays. this is why children grow up rotten. they make looking different a ‘sin’ and pass it to their kids and their kids’ kids and so on and so forth. ag!)

-“Sometimes fantasy is better than reality” (so? it’s true! i thought we didn’t lie!)

-risking death for love (how is this hatred if it’s for love? love is good, right? go for your love, right? isn’t it a sin to just sit there and watch someone die? really?)

-punk music in startup background (shoot something. shoot something now. punk is not hate. well. maybe it is. but. music? music is beautiful. make some music yourself, then you can critique, lovers.)

-planting of porno subliminal imagery in kids films (heh. heh. shouldn’t this be under ‘sex’?)

-child snapping fingers at mother (…uhm. what if she was DANCING? i mean. snapping? wtf?)

-whispered three/four letter word, three times (WHAT THE FCK? this is SPONGEBOB. WHAT the FCK?)

-urination humor (that may be gross, but not hateful…)

 

and we can’t forget SEX::

-teens making out (didn’t you? ever? i mean. making out is making out. make out, not war? it’s not bad. it’s just FRIENDLY! :D)

-homosexual comment (‘oh, hon, the gays are watching out of our window again. i mean, we’re trying to have a nice, normal relationship. why can’t they stop stalking us?’ uh, would you get pissed over a heterosexual comment? or an asexual comment? (what would that be? ‘no, i don’t want to fck you, shirley, and that’s final’?))

-excessive cleavage

-homosexual insult (isn’t that under ‘hate’ and not ‘sexual immorality’? or are we being homophobic again?)

-lesbian touch (so if two lesbians touch each other, and it isn’t necessarily sexual…)

-massive tattoo on female privates (now i think we’re exaggerating. how big a tattoo can you fit down there?)

-below navel skin (feet=sin?)

-revealing swim wear (isn’t it all, though? (lest you are a scuba diver, but… scuba divers? in ‘a cinderella story’? ohplease.))

-suggestion of sadomasochism in transvestism (this was from a ‘spongebob’ review. seriously? spongebob?)

 

and DRUGS::

heh, none. HUGS NOT DRUGS!

 

and rock’n’roll… no. actually, OFFENSE TO GAWD::

-celebration of Halloween, repeatedly  (oh fck you. halloween is mischief night! TP? candy? does god not have fun anymore? or maybe (s)he’s just jealous of our holidays that (s)he didn’t bother to come up with)

-living screaming baby-looking plant roots (i thought they were cute…)

-levitation, repeatedly (didn’t jesus fly or walk on water or something? isn’t that some sort of levitation? …)

-christmas without jesus (is someone feeling excluded…?)

-“walking” on water (as i said earlier, DIDN’T A CERTAIN HOLY PERSON DO THIS ALSO?)

-evil-looking statue (but but but, what if there was an evil looking PERSON! i’m sure there was.)

-revelry (so now partying is wrong?)

 

last but certainly not least; MERRDERR!!! :0

-murder by squeezing head (uhm, not that bad, but it made me laugh. you gotta wonder how strong some of these people are.)

(seriously, murder is bad. murder is a good reason for a high rating. and uh. they weren’t too ridiculous here, but without it this would only by WHSDO. )

 

well there you have it. WHSDOM. actually, i think it’s supposed to be WISDOM, but i didn’t want to write ‘imudence’…

also, i’ll edit this later. probably.

–moi